Agrosluzby Bardejov Lifestyle magazine.

ZMD Zombies of Mass Destruction

In a nutshell, it’s safe to say that if zombies are the subject matter volajuci, I am drooling. It’s also safe to say that based on my affinity for B movies, it does not take much to impress me. Meaning it can be a pretty gawd awful movie and 9 out of 10 times, s’long as zombies are involved, I’m gonna love it. Unfortunately that is not the case with this movie and I can’t begin to tell you how disappointed I am that the AfterDark release of ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction fit into that 1 out of 10 category.

Allow me to give you the meat and potatoes of ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction:

Port Gamble is a little island town where everything appears to be sunshine and roses. White picket fences line each yard and everyone knows everyone else and waves to all in welcome. On the surface, life in Port Gamble is grand and everyone is happy, yet we see subtle clues alluding the to discontent of the townsfolk, a not so subtle foreshadowing of unpleasant things to come.

We see a blind man stumble upon an undead corpse washed ashore the local beach and before you can say “brainnnnnsss” he is bitten, and peaceful Port Gamble is mobbed by hungry zombies. Don’t be fooled however, as these zombies are not where the true horror of ZMD lies. Instead, we learn the real horror lies in the masked bigotry of the townsfolk.

ZMD’s main focus is Frida, an American of Iranian descent, and gay couple, Tom and Lance. It seems the townsfolk have kept buried their true feelings of these individuals, and the arrival of zombies has given voice to their prejudices, as well as granting them arrogance to inflict upon them physical torture. The townsfolk felt they could not cleanse their town of zombies until they cleansed their souls of their inner demons (zombies if you will.)

Was there blood in ZMD? Oh Yeh. lots of it actually. Were there humorous moments that made me laugh, albiet briefly? Sure. But was I bored out of my mind with the “message” of “the demon you don’t know is sometimes worse than the demon you do know”? You better frickin’ believe it. See, I live in the South; the Biblebelt South. And in my antiquated city, prejudice and ignorance is more commonplace than grilling out on game day. If I wanted to see a movie about such things, I’d take a trip into town with my snazzy Canon camcorder rolling, and replay it on my flatscreen tv….

I watch these movies to escape reality, not be reminded of it.

What happened to the good old days of the Evil Dead when a zombie movie was all about flesh eating corpses and really cool boom sticks? Or Planet Terror where there was so much action and bloodshed that no one gave two shits as to whether or not there was a hidden message. Am I being too harsh? Expecting too much?

Probably. And I would imagine if I were to watch it again, on a weekend perhaps, in a different state of mind (and with a bottle of wine in my belly) I would most likely actually enjoy it…. maybe. Once I embrace the “Political Zomedy” aspect of it rather than roll my eyes at it’s message….

Ah, who am I kidding? This is one zombie movie that will NOT end up in my vault of keepers.